Who would have thought living in Houston would actually bring such joy? Who would have thought being at a standstill could still bring fulfillment and peace? Who would have thought that despite not knowing where I am headed, I am content where I am?
He has plans for me. He has me here for a reason. Each day unfolds more of His beauty. I fall so short, but His mercy is new every morning! I am stumbling forward eyes heavenward and heart lifted to none but my Redeemer. Each step is one of faith. I do not know what tomorrow brings. I don't need to know. I need to know that here and now that the God of heaven loves me and the Holy Spirit will guide and comfort me in the midst of all things.
John 10:10b I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
That has been a theme in getting my attention as of late. The Lord is ever so gracious to my blindness. He came for me to live this life. And I find so much more joy and have found life full in every way lately. I may be more content and joyful than being at A&M!? I have found sweet fellowship, yet stay connected with my best friends God blessed me with at A&M. I find joy in so much everything!
It's as if my life is a canvas, and sometimes I reach up to the hands (God) that is painting the colors of my life. I tend to reach for the brush, I yearn and say I want to skip the end! I want to see how it's beautiful, but I don't want to experience the beauty unfold. I long and ask please just let me be WITH the hands that are so steady... but He patiently reminds me with each stroke, I want to add color and vibrancy to your life! Part of loving me is letting me bless you. His goodness cannot stay welled up inside Him, He is good so He pours out His goodness, making Him all the more good!! As the brush hits the canvas He longingly wants to me to accept His goodness of an abundant life... He wants me to have all the variations of beautiful colors, to enjoy His creativity in love. He wants to create a masterpiece out of my life- for me to enjoy and to further glorify Himself and show how incredible He is in every way. It's a win win situation.
That's what my life feels like. I read once, "Some men are so earthly minded, they are no heavenly good. And some men are so heavenly minded, they are no earthly good." Oh what a heart wrenching statement! I pray to be a balance. My soul longs for eternity in the presence of God! To worship all that He is causes my soul to leap up and stir all this crazy passion and love dwelling in me! How I long for that day! But then crash down to earth. What a terrible place to land. So many people skewing who God is... so many twisting His word, so many spitting upon the face of the Lord I so dearly love (unintentionally or maybe not.). It makes my soul weary. But then Christ beckons me, Leah are you willing to wipe the spit off my brow? Will you boldly live for me no matter what the cost? Then my heart stirs with new passion, I am to live for Him!
That is it. It is to live, to be real, to be genuine. I cannot be in some spiritual world constantly seeking some weird Jesus nirvana and leave the world crumbling behind me. He has called me to enjoy and live this life and show others how to be glad in Him. -To be a light amid darkness, to be an arrow pointing to the Savior. I am not perfect, but I serve a perfect God. I am nothing more than a young woman wholly surrendered to His love and purposes, yet still living and breathing and making decisions each day.
I live in this moment. I live for His glory. I live because He gives me joy that I cannot explain or express. He is good. His very nature is the epitome of good. And good does not indulge in every whim and desire... He is good to give me what I need, and not always what I think I need!
Oh how I love Him!
