Pastoral Encouragement

It's amazing how the words of other believers stay with you for years... and when you read them once again you are humbled all over again and encouraged all at once.

I found/reread this email sent to me from a pastor of a church I went to nearly two years ago. The Lord used his words to lift me up once again... it is so striking some of the things he said...

"Leah,

First of all, thank you times a million for sending this and sharing what
God has been doing in your hearts for years. It is my testimony! Praise
the Lord! As I was trying to share last night, you come across as
different, passionate in ways that is not normal. You may not even realize
it, but it carries authority in ways that is obviously a spiritual gifting.
So your growth and intimacy with God is vital. You may even try to fall
back in the future, but it can only be for a season as God's amazing grace
woos you back. So, don't go there and allow God to use you daily. One
warning: you will be called many names and accused of being judgmental and
legalistic as God's Word really becomes your final authority for all of
life. You will bring conviction when you walk in the room and good people
you love will try to avoid you. It is the cross we bear for our wonderful
Savior.

On the positive side, you will be blessed with a peace and a faith beyond
compare. People will encourage you and write nice e-mails to you as God
uses you to bring life-change. He does it and we are His jars of clay"

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

How blessed it is to have such brothers and sisters to admonish you when you need it, as well as encourage you when you need it!

The Sorrow in the Air

I wrote this poem a few days ago. Though my heart breaks and my sorrow is so overwhelming... the Lord is still so good and so gracious amid every heartache and affliction. Though there are those who seek to tear me down, the rock of my salvation is Christ, not my own works or merit. Though I would wish for life to be easier... if the good Lord saw fit to test me and afflictions are thrust upon me in this sinful world, by His grace and His strength I will walk through the fire of adversity, for He is with me. Though others forsake me, He never will.

Oh how deep the Father's love is! Oh how much I love Him and desire to honor and glorify Him with my lips. All my days I want to be used for His glory, all I desire is to please Him, not man.

Inside my heart is breaking,

And my strength is almost gone;

All the sorrow and the aching,

Make me hesitate to go on.

The lump inside my throat,

Is permanently stinging…

Each conversation, every note,

Bring me closer to my crying.

Heart-wrenching every moment,

So weary of it all;

My heart is almost spent,

And I want to curl up in a ball.

But a mighty saving grace,

Has kept me from that place.

A tender loving Father,

Sees every tear and every bother.

When my strength fails,

He strengthens me.

When my heart wails,

His comfort is nearer to me.

The saints He has chosen,

Bring me joy from above…

His love is their love,

Shown to me so free.

Though the pain does not leave,

And my sorrow is evident…

My Lord I trust and believe,

Loves me continually.

Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 63:3-8 "Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice. My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me."

Psalm 18:1-6 "I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid. The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me. In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears."

Loved

"As God did not at first choose you because you were high, He will not now forsake you because you are low."

— John Flavel

I am so overwhelmed by the love of our most gracious heavenly Father. Just because this world gets "turned upside down" does not shake or phase the glorious God of heaven. Nothing catches Him by surprise. Though tears silently roll down my cheeks when no one is looking... His powerful over arching love, joy, peace, and comfort swallow me up and I realize just how good He is... all the time.

Though I learned when Dinah died what pure joy was amid any circumstance... I am living it all over again. It is so humbling all the truth He lays out before my eyes. The moments I feel faint or I want to curl up in a ball and ignore reality, His blessed saints draw me in with their life and laughter and I find myself joining in as naturally as could be. I am so thankful I am not alone right now. I am so thankful for the tender care the Lord has bestowed on my life right now.

Blessed be the name of the Lord, for He alone is worthy to be praised. Bless His holy name... the lips of this young lady are humbled to the deepest parts within me that I am chosen to proclaim His excellencies, for I am so aware of how unworthy I am, but I am moved by profound gratitude because of His mercies sake He loves me. How unfathomable it is that He holds me in His right hand?-how unfathomable it is that I find rest in the shadow of His wings! He is all glory, honor, and praise... He is so magnificent! Oh how I love Him, how my heart is satisfied in His love, how my all rests within His sovereign will... and I would not wish it to be any other way. He is so good.

I am so grateful it is not by my merit or any of my doing that I am the Lord's chosen. How shaky my foundation would be if I were trying to please Him or even depending upon my own human strength. He first chose me and knew me before I could even know Him... and I rest in that. I am moved to relinquish that which hinders me from serving my beloved Savior. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and want to live unapologetically for His name. Though I am not perfect, I strive for perfection because He deserves nothing less... though He bestows His love so freely and I am secure in Him, I want to walk in holiness, I want to be rid of all my vile sin, I want to walk as He has revealed in His scriptures. Just because I am chosen, just because it was a free gift, just because I have eternal security... does in no way give me license (or desire!) to go on sinning so that grace may abound. I hate the sin that I once loved, because I love the God I once hated. Oh how my heart sings a joyous song of adoration for such love is mine!

I am so in love with, so dearly loved... so enthralled by the love of my King!