It is Good for Me to Draw Near to God

I have been pondering these last few weeks, especially, how absolutely enjoyable life is when resting in the Lord's sovereignty. When I am submitted to His will, I am at peace. What joy is mine when I allow the Spirit of the living God to have His way in me! When conviction strikes, even as a serpent, swift and immediate pain; unless we act quickly it will course as a poison in our veins... slowly causing more discomfort unless we draw it out. (Though, this analogy is certainly flawed... for the conviction from the Holy Spirit does not cause our ultimate demise, but the sin in us). I am just so humbled to think of when I am imperfect, it is extremely painful when that conviction hits(for what could be worse than being unaware of the Spirit's correcting?)... but I wish so fervently to rejoice in the Lord always that I am grateful to be aware of any sin and then repent at once so that I may continue being sanctified and made more into the image of Christ.

I say this, because sin keeps us from the Lord. That is the separation. The stinging pain of shame causes me soul deep anguish; holy remorse is the immediate result if I am daily studying the Scriptures for more of my God. I do not wish for sin to abound, but to allow the God of all creation to abound in my life! My soul weeps to think that the things I have done, the things I am going to do, were the reason He was on the cross; but deep penetrating joy is mine for His incomprehensible grace took me from that place. And, with all my heart, I pray for more grace, because I just want to love Him, enjoy Him, proclaim of all His excellencies... and not to drag my feet to repentance.

(: I am trying to get to my main point, but, in light of the redemption at Calvary I cannot turn my mind from how He has lavished His love upon me when I was absolutely mortifyingly undeserving!

John 10:10 "I am come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." Over the years I have always kept that verse at the forefront of my mind. I am absolutely astounded at how He has so tenderly brought me to the place in life I am at now. It as if as each year passes, I am more sanctified, so more of His abundant life is revealed to me. I am quite certain many might look in upon my life and think it rather quite dull. (and to be quite honest, 6 years ago I would not have imagined the joy I have in the midst of where I am!) I am absolutely moved to know the God of heaven. I must know Him or my soul faints within me! With my free time I want to listen to words proclaimed about His truth, or read His truth, or read about others talking about His truth. I want to study until my eyes hurt and I MUST go to bed (or simply take my contacts out and continue reading with my glasses:). Then, apart from my studies, I find such joy in living at home. It is overwhelming joy to pray and find ways to find out how I fit within my home, how to serve my family, how to love my family, how to enjoy the time we have together (for such a deep loss of a sister makes you relish the moments with those still here). Even in practical means, the "grunt" work of the home, it all the Lord's grace that makes me heart delight in serving my family in EVERY way. Then, there are those outside the home. I cannot quite describe to you how much joy, laughter, and rich fellowship I have at work. WORK. I am so humbled that the good Lord would see how at this time in my life I have to work, and give me wonderful godly friends to work with, and wonderful customers to serve and minister to. Then, there are the younger girls I am so blessed to build friendships with and the patience they have with ME for tolerating my incessant proclamation every 5-10 seconds about how good God is, quoting scripture, and then answering my millions of questions I have for them about them. Then even my peers; I am so blessed by the people God has put in my life. To share the things God daily reveals to me... that they patiently listen to me and how no one seems to tire of my endless drive for edification (and how I cannot stand the meaningless), but rather, the join me. Then, of course, those brothers and sister in Christ who have walked the way before me. Oh, I am so blessed to have older wiser couples/women in my life. AND THE CHILDREN! Oh, how could you not love to hold a little one nestled in your arms?! Since it is not yet the time for me to have my own, I am so blessed when I get the time with any sweet precious little one. They are such a joy!

I want to enjoy every single person, place, and moment God chooses to bless me with. When the tears fall, I want to enjoy His goodness because He comforts me. When the laughter abounds, I want to rejoice that He has given me friendships that are pure and not corrupted by the worlds standard of "comedy". I do not know how long each person will remain in my life, but I want to make the most of every interaction and to revel in the Lord's grace as it unceasingly falls.

With a smile, I recall the memories of even the last few months (for MY how His grace has just been poured out upon me more and MORE) and how such peace, contentment, and joy that was always around. Each waking day is only better. It is not because life is perfect, but rather, because amid the imperfections, flaws, hurt, pain, and weariness of life, my soul cleaves to the God who's right hand upholdeth me; because God is sovereign, I must trust Him implicitly. To not trust Him, is folly.

As the Psalm 73:28 says, "But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works. "

And literally, I cannot hold it in even I were to try! As I draw near to God, trust Him more, I am so moved to declare of all His works! His excellencies are more than my heart can fathom, and I want everyone to enjoy the freedom of Christ and to know Him! And though I know not all are called, all those who are called I want to be so sensitive to the Holy Spirit's moving in me that I am but a vessel speaking as He would have me speak, loving as He would have me love, living as He would have me live.

And then... I am overwhelmed to think of the blessings to come. Why worry about tomorrow... when I can hardly even contain the blessings of today! In Him I place my trust.

Soli Deo gloria!