Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Glimpses From C.S. Lewis(:

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.

You cannot go on 'explaining away' for ever: you will find that you have explained explanation itself away. You cannot go on 'seeing through' things for ever. The whole point of seeing through something is to see something through it.

One of the things that distinguishes man from the other animals is that he wants to know things, wants to find out what reality is like, simply for the sake of knowing. When that desire is completely quenched in anyone, I think he has become something less than human.

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.

Reality, in fact, is always something you couldn't have guessed. That's one of the reasons I believe Christianity. It's a religion you couldn't have guessed.

Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it.

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.

If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don't feel at home there?

All joy...emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings

The human mind has no more power of inventing a new value than of planting a new sun in the sky or a new primary colour in the spectrum...

Now that I am a Christian I do not have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable.

'Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. but he's good. He's the King, I tell you.'

'And then she understood the devilish cunning of the enemies' plan. By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lie far stronger.'

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Catching Mere Glimpses

Job 11:7-8 "Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens--what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave --what can you know?"

I decided to change the name of my blog... and change the url address, but hopefully that isn't too problematic? Why? I'm so glad you asked! Instead of starting a whole new blog, I decided to keep posting here and simply change the name. I used to blog on "Incessancy" then switched to "Two Roads Diverged" because I like my blogs to reflect what's going on inside my life. You can see here why I named it "Two Roads Diverged."

Incessancy is a reflection of the incessant chaos and question asking, searching, seeking, and probing I did. Then, two paths were laid before me. I took the one less travelled by, and that is why I named my blog after the wonderful poem Two Roads Diverged. Since then God has done INCREDIBLE things in my life, heart, and mind! I look around and am in utter and complete awe of this glorious and magnificent God I serve. It blows my mind! And it humbles me because the more I see, the more I realize the less I know. And the more that I understand I barely know anything... the more I want to continually seek this wonderful Saviour of mine! My eyes are opening to the fact that I what I see is but a mere glimpse of everything glorious about God.

So again Job 11:7-8 "Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens--what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave --what can you know?" What can I know? Ahh. I love these verses! It just humbles me all over again, God is unfathomable, He is limitless, His is higher than any other, deeper than the deepest depth... how do I even grasp that? How do I know a God who is so far beyond my own comprehension? Only by His grace! God reveals Himself simply because He chooses to do so! His love surpasses anything we can ever know or understand. But we can have this love, though we cannot wrap our minds fully around it, yet it is ours. Crazy! And compared to eternity? 1 Peter 1:13 "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." Preparing our minds, being ready... setting our hope one HIM and His grace for the day Christ is revealed. There is MORE to be revealed!! This is absolutely thrilling! God reveals Himself to us now, but we are catching but mere glimpses in light of who He is and who will be revealed to us in Eternity!

I am caught up in this, I pray forever. But this season of life I am in... I feel this blog I write in would be more exquisite if I let the name reflect my heart(:

Friday, April 16, 2010


Matthew 16:24-26 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

Simply, I read this and it strikes me... it means giving up that which I hold most dear, because the dearest One who holds me... means more.

My mind ponders this, heart treasures it, and soul stands in awe of the beauty of it. The surest way of losing that which possesses the most value is to try and hold on to bits and pieces of fading things of the world. What remains for all eternity? God and His infinite love. How long will the pleasures of this world last? Only but a breathe in light of eternity.

My soul yearns, oh it absolutely from the deepest parts of me, the unknown parts in me... cries out in anguish to be in the presence of my dear Savior, now, today, I want to be in heaven more and more each day! But since I am not, God obviously has some purpose He wishes for me to accomplish before I enter into His enthralling and captivating presence. This is why I wish with everything in me to learn and grow each day, to catch mere glimpses of this holy and magnificent God... because I'm not there yet. But instead of wasting away, I want to grow day by day!

And I want to use this life to honor and glorify His name! Which makes me grow extremely dissatisfied seeing how the world is. It is so broken, hurt, and so depressingly lost... so far from the sweet exhilarating love of Jesus! And I live so comfortably. Ugh. There are children fainting from hunger all around the world, women screaming in despair over lost children or husbands, people getting sick because there is no clean water... and each one no matter what the situation LOST and APART from the lovingkindness of my dear God! Oh how can I even type these words from the comfort of my dorm room? Then, there are people next door to me living with every comfort the world has to offer... STILL lacking the love and true comfort of knowing Christ Jesus as Lord. And what do I do? What do I say? I am not so bold. Even if I am unwavering, I am not as vocal as I ought to be.

I have so much. So many have so little. I feel lost in a world of hurt, inbetween reality and knowing in my heart something has to change. I don't want to live in a big house, I don't want to have every latest technological toy, I don't want to go out to eat every week, I don't want to sit by and do nothing. I want simplicity and going above and beyond American Christianity to reach people who desperately need a real and perfect God. Not a "god" who gives health, wealth, and ease. No!! God is so much bigger than that, amid the chaos, confusion, hurt, and dark, He is a brilliant light that steadies a heart, heals hurt, and shines brighter piercing the dark and a heart.

I cannot stay here in college station. I do not want a typical life. I want the typical new testament life. There is a path I must walk on, seeking Christ first above everything. But then I think of Job, of Abraham. God blessed them immensely with earthly things. So having stuff isn't a bad thing... which isn't hard to grasp... it's just hard to fathom having that much. It's hard to see how that is good. What good is it to have more when others have less? Which maybe I'm just naive, God used Abraham and Job for His purpose... so money isn't bad. But I don't want money to accumulate, I want money to bless others! Ahh!

I think we all have different ways we have to deny ourself. One for me is denying the urge to find the easy and short quick way to fall in love and be married(which the desires to fall in love and get married aren't bad... too much in which it exceeds Christ is NOT ok, and also how I go about love can be wrong too!!). By denying all the selfish pleasures and ways I can indulge now, by looking, seeking attention, seeking to attract, being too open, too apt to physical stumbling, flirting, wishing, watching... instead I can seek the Lord evermore, encourage my brothers, guard my heart, be intentional with my words and actions, and not get tangled up in selfish "love" by grabbing what I want, instead I wait and delight myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires of my heart, when He knows I'm ready and He knows it's right.

Or even denying how sometimes I wish I could curl up in a ball and ignore the world. I don't like talking to people sometimes. I would rather be by myself, reading, or praying and spending time with God. People can be such jerks, such hypocrites. I'm a homebody sometimes. Which is true, even though it may not seem like it. But I know God has given me a love for the lost, a heart of service, words of encouragement, and a gentle and tender care for those who simply need a friend. I have no problem talking to people, it is not a natural ease which I was born with, but something cultivated over years. And I wish... I wish I could not care and be a quiet keep to herself girl. But I am compelled by my love for Christ to love people.

I just think of so many things when I think about denying myself. The words I say, I must be intentional. The clothes I wear, choosing instead to be modest and honoring God instead of gratifying my need of selfishly seeking attention. The places I go, the movies I watch, the music I listen to, the thoughts I cannot think, the thoughts I take captive. The ill-feelings toward others I must repent of. The surrendering of my own will for His. Not seeking fame and pleasure, seeking Him and proclaiming His fame and finding all pleasure in Him!

It's not about being good morally, paying my tithe in church, and generally being an amiable and liked person. It's about God, being poured out for His purpose, loving people because He loves me, sharing Him with the world... all the while being holy and blameless because Christ has washed me anew, giving away more than what I need because others need it more, being kind-hearted to the mean-spirited... being willing to be ridiculed and unliked because I stand for the truth of God's word, not what people want to hear.

I want a simple life. I don't want the thrills and frills of what the world has to offer. I want to run barefoot through open fields and enjoying the general splendor of God's creation! I want to sit in the sunshine reading a good book, I want to laugh with people I care about, I want to build friendships, not build bigger houses to live in. I want to live with what I need, the essentials.

I want a Christ-filled life. I want His love to be the thrilling and the brightest most breath-taking thing my heart delights in. I want to find Him in music, in books, in people, in life!

My heart is not satisfied to look and see the regular life Americans lead. I want something radically different. I just have no idea what that is, or what it looks like.