Sunday, May 16, 2010

Random Song and Book Quote(:

She's in Love
According to John

What a beautiful smile
A radiant girl
Fell in love first time I saw her
She stays on my mind
I’d give anything
To know everything about her

There’s light in her eyes
And I know it’s all for him
She carries on and on
Like he was her best friend

She’s in love (echo)
It’s not hard to see
But I would like to believe it was with me
Someone got a hold of her heart
And he won’t let go
And I know
She’s in love

She looks to the sky
When she talks about him
She believes he hung the moon
Said he had to go away
She waits for his return
Says he’s coming for her soon

How can this be fair?
This guy can walk on water
Don’t guess I’ve got a prayer
He’s written love letters - to reach her

She worships the ground he walks on
She just smiles when she says his name
It’s a match made in heaven
I can’t compete with the King of Kings

This song is so beautiful. I want people to know how in love I am with the Creator of the Heavens just by looking at my life... I want one man to be so enthralled by it that words similar to these are etched on his heart.

Here's an excerpt from a book I'm reading by Leslie Ludy:

"We Must remember that our bodies are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Therefore, because our bodies house the presence of the living God, we cannot just assume that it is our right to do whatever we want with them. Rather, our body is to spent for the glory of our King-not for the selfish pleasure of lustful men or to gratify our own selfish desire to be found attractive to the opposite sex."

On a side note I absolutely love being home and I absolutely love my family!! They are such a blessing to me(:

Monday, May 10, 2010

Living Intentionally

I've been praying a lot lately. But then again, I do that a lot anyways! I've been pondering this entire past year, remembering how I've lived, what I did right, what I did better, and how I could have lived more intentionally... despite the obvious growth from the past... I still see so many places I fell short!

Also, as a bonus, it's been so fun realizing the role of biblical women. Which I honestly cannot wait (if the Lord wills it!) to be someone's helpmate(: Which I def have struggled with understanding it. But to complete someone, to be what God designed it to be... is so beautiful. I want to lift him up, encourage him, be the wife that makes him feel more like a man. Ahh beautiful!

But above all, I want to live with one purpose in mind: Christ. It breaks my heart when I realize how selfish I am. I just want to live a life of sacrificially pouring out everything I am for the cause of Christ! And I fall so short. Every day I wake up there is an irresistible calling, urging, drawing that beckons me to seek the Lord, love the Lord, live for the Lord, know Him, make Him known, run to Him, rest in Him, and find my soul's uttermost content and joy in Him!

How do I convey the depth and weight of the love that wells up in my heart, mind, and soul for my precious and magnificent God? It fills me with awe, with wonder... with absolute amazement, that He would love me! Insane! Incomprehensible!

So now what? A&M is officially over. (One more day left! Weird!) Then a summer full of loving on kids. Then ?? As the song goes "For greater things are yet to come!" Thank you Chris Tomlin. What in the world does God have planned for me? Jeremiah 29:11-13 tells me I got nothing to sweat if I'm seeking the Lord with all my heart(;

I told my mom "Nothing in my life makes sense right now. Nothing. Everything seems impossible. But despite it all, there is an irresistible calling... I wake up and the Lord beckons me to follow Him, to follow His lead, and all I want to do is run with everything towards Him and His plan... I can't not follow Him. I literally cannot not do what He wills. I want to, I can't imagine not following Him. So despite the impossibility, I trust, I have faith, because I want more trust, I want more faith... more of Him!"

That pretty much sums it up. God is good, oh so good!! (:

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Be still

Mmm. I find the weirdest juxtaposition of feelings raging in me.

Ahh. I find the strangest ambivalence presiding inside.

Sigh. I find the chaotic mess of thoughts and feelings jumbled hidden deep.

Music moves me. Music petrifies me.

I love being around people. I want to be alone.

I long for adventure. I like serenity.

I want deep heartfelt conversation. I want silence.

I want to think. I cannot stand the thoughts.

I remember. I want to forget.

I miss so much. I can't go back.

I am restless. I am at peace.

I want to run. I want to stay.

I want write. I don't know how to say it.

I want to sing.... a lot.

I want to proclaim Christ's truth. I stutter.

I want to laugh. I want to cry.

I want to love. I want to stay closed.

The list goes on.

How do you live when the thought of not living enough looms over your head? How do you live without regrets when you don't want to waste your life? How do you run when everything around you tears at you to trek a slower pace? How in the world is a 19-year old supposed to know what to do with her life?

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God.

What do you do when it seems like every God-less life seems to be going along alright? What about when they seem to be doing better than ok? What about when lukewarm Christians seem to be doing just as good as you? What do you do when the hypocrites prevail?

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

What about when the dark side of the world seems to attacking you head on? What about when more than just the world, but actual spiritual warfare? What of despair that battles in you? What of feeling too weak to be of use?

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

He is not a God to watch idly.

Zechariah 2:13 Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.

Be still and know who He is. Be still and wait patiently. Be still and He will do the fighting. Be still before Him!!