Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Be still

Mmm. I find the weirdest juxtaposition of feelings raging in me.

Ahh. I find the strangest ambivalence presiding inside.

Sigh. I find the chaotic mess of thoughts and feelings jumbled hidden deep.

Music moves me. Music petrifies me.

I love being around people. I want to be alone.

I long for adventure. I like serenity.

I want deep heartfelt conversation. I want silence.

I want to think. I cannot stand the thoughts.

I remember. I want to forget.

I miss so much. I can't go back.

I am restless. I am at peace.

I want to run. I want to stay.

I want write. I don't know how to say it.

I want to sing.... a lot.

I want to proclaim Christ's truth. I stutter.

I want to laugh. I want to cry.

I want to love. I want to stay closed.

The list goes on.

How do you live when the thought of not living enough looms over your head? How do you live without regrets when you don't want to waste your life? How do you run when everything around you tears at you to trek a slower pace? How in the world is a 19-year old supposed to know what to do with her life?

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God.

What do you do when it seems like every God-less life seems to be going along alright? What about when they seem to be doing better than ok? What about when lukewarm Christians seem to be doing just as good as you? What do you do when the hypocrites prevail?

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

What about when the dark side of the world seems to attacking you head on? What about when more than just the world, but actual spiritual warfare? What of despair that battles in you? What of feeling too weak to be of use?

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

He is not a God to watch idly.

Zechariah 2:13 Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.

Be still and know who He is. Be still and wait patiently. Be still and He will do the fighting. Be still before Him!!

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