I've been praying a lot lately. But then again, I do that a lot anyways! I've been pondering this entire past year, remembering how I've lived, what I did right, what I did better, and how I could have lived more intentionally... despite the obvious growth from the past... I still see so many places I fell short!
Also, as a bonus, it's been so fun realizing the role of biblical women. Which I honestly cannot wait (if the Lord wills it!) to be someone's helpmate(: Which I def have struggled with understanding it. But to complete someone, to be what God designed it to be... is so beautiful. I want to lift him up, encourage him, be the wife that makes him feel more like a man. Ahh beautiful!
But above all, I want to live with one purpose in mind: Christ. It breaks my heart when I realize how selfish I am. I just want to live a life of sacrificially pouring out everything I am for the cause of Christ! And I fall so short. Every day I wake up there is an irresistible calling, urging, drawing that beckons me to seek the Lord, love the Lord, live for the Lord, know Him, make Him known, run to Him, rest in Him, and find my soul's uttermost content and joy in Him!
How do I convey the depth and weight of the love that wells up in my heart, mind, and soul for my precious and magnificent God? It fills me with awe, with wonder... with absolute amazement, that He would love me! Insane! Incomprehensible!
So now what? A&M is officially over. (One more day left! Weird!) Then a summer full of loving on kids. Then ?? As the song goes "For greater things are yet to come!" Thank you Chris Tomlin. What in the world does God have planned for me? Jeremiah 29:11-13 tells me I got nothing to sweat if I'm seeking the Lord with all my heart(;
I told my mom "Nothing in my life makes sense right now. Nothing. Everything seems impossible. But despite it all, there is an irresistible calling... I wake up and the Lord beckons me to follow Him, to follow His lead, and all I want to do is run with everything towards Him and His plan... I can't not follow Him. I literally cannot not do what He wills. I want to, I can't imagine not following Him. So despite the impossibility, I trust, I have faith, because I want more trust, I want more faith... more of Him!"
That pretty much sums it up. God is good, oh so good!! (: