First off, I want to say how incredibly blessed and humbled I am when I think about how the God of all creation chose to love me, and loves me continually. It’s unfathomable, incomprehensible, mind-blowing, and something I’ll never understand until I’m ushered into His presence in heaven. What a marvelous thing to trust in, His unfailing perfect love. I honestly cannot imagine life without Christ’s love, and I don’t see how people live life without Him.
I want to know this Creator of love, I want to know about His love, I want to know how to love like Him, I want my life to reflect His love, I want to live a life that is an outpouring of His love, I just want to strive and follow hard after this God for a lifetime… if only to get a glimpse of His magnificence before heaven. Whatever it takes in this life, I want to know Him. How could I not? How could you know of His love and not be moved or not want to live to know Him and make Him known all the days He gives you? Any chance in this life that provides an opportunity for me to draw near to my Saviour, to understand His love better, and to grow in my faith and love in Him, I not only want it but need it as well.
We all crave love, no one can escape that much. The utterly sad truth is, most people try and find love in the wrong places. Our world is obsessed with a twisted version of love that is self-seeking. It’s not only selfish, but no human could ever satisfy the deep longing for love we intrinsically possess. And people look for that fulfillment of that longing in romantic love, not just unbelievers, but believers as well. But how can we do that? How can we sit in awe of a God so perfect and so capable of meeting every need for love… then the next minute we become infatuated with finding “the one” ?
I’m not saying human love, or romantic love is wrong, not at all. Just clarifying.
For me personally, I definitely used to be like that. I loved the Lord but was very preoccupied with a hope for finding love, romance, and that one special guy. I think He puts desires in us but sometimes he tests those to make sure He is still our first desire. Towards the end of my junior year as I realized the deep love I had for him, how only His love satisfied me, His love was all I ever needed, all I ever wanted, and that He was all I wanted to live for... that He alone is what my heart, mind, body and soul longed for, He challenged me and had some fun with me! I still thought I needed earthly love, and sometimes that “need” would start to outweigh my need for Christ. He began to convict my heart and as I was praying one night
and He gently asked me, “Leah, am I enough?” With a passionate cry I prayed yes of course! Then He asked me... “Am I really enough, even if an earthly love never comes into your life, even if marriage is never part of your life... is My love enough?” Silence swept over me. I felt this deep turmoil in me and I prayed and wrestled over that because when I was being honest with myself and God, I wasn’t sure. But in the midst of this struggle in my heart, the obvious answer crashed down on my silly human heart, I realized of course. HIS love is more than I could ask for, more than I could comprehend, and He loves me more than any guy ever could.
So the answer was yes, He was enough no matter what. I’m not saying I still don’t have the desire to fall in love and get married, I definitely still desire that! But the Lord brought me to a point where I grasped that His love is what truly satisfies my deepest desires. And no matter what His plans are for me, I would be more than ok with singleness because He satisfies that deep longing I have to be loved. I'd much rather be single and in love with Him than trying to find love on my own terms and get side tracked from my relationship with Him.
So, when I think about love and attractions all these crazy thoughts have been growing in me since then. Obviously the single most attractive trait a man can possess (to me anyways..) is his being like Christ. I have to believe that love means so much more than just finding that person to grow old with. If the Lord has marriage in my future, it’s going to because that man and I are going to be able to live and accomplish so much more together for the Kingdom and bringing Christ glory than we ever could apart. It’s not just falling in love with a man and finding joy through that, but about putting Christ first above any and everything… especially through marriage because of all the awesome portrayals of love and marriage the Bible has.
But lately I’ve been thinking it could possibly be more. What if all this attraction and falling in love, putting Christ first business, pushes us further into God’s loving arms?-it’s another way to grow in closer intimacy with our Lord?
If a man mirrors Christ every day in his actions and is merely a reflection … he is essentially mirroring Christ’s love. For to be like Christ is to love, because God is love, and God loved us so much He sent His son to die for us… and Christ loved His Father and loved us so much he willingly bled and died for our sins so we could be reconciled to the love we so desperately need. So, living like Christ, means loving like Christ. Since this man loves the Lord and lives for Him, when falling in love and getting to know him and his heart, what is on his heart? His love for everything good and godly from the Father. His heart would be focused on the Lord, his love would be for the lord, his actions would be devoted to furthering Christ kingdom, his joy would be of the Lord, his whole life is being lived out for the sake of making Christ known. So as you(hypothetically speaking) would fall in love with him, you would see Christ’s love and understand God’s love better. We are to be like Christ, and what better way to know Christ than to know one of His followers who is like Him?
I’m trying to say that if the initial attraction starts with being drawn to someone who’s inner man is mirroring Christ and someone else gets a glimpse of that… which grows into something more, you fall in love, etc, all along the way as you learn about this someone, who is like Christ, God uses that someone to draw you ever closer to Him, not further away. And if you’re finding yourself falling away from the Lord because of a relationship it’s probably not a good idea, at all.
I’m not saying you need a relationship to know the love of God better, after all look at Paul!! But maybe if love/marriage wasn’t a selfish need for another person, we could better understand that our longing will ONLY be satisfied in Christ’s love and we could focus on loving fully and freely… not selfishly needing a person. When we find that love in Christ, that love can overflow in every area, not just in romantic relationships. But especially for romantic love, when we love like Christ we find we can’t selfishly need a person because we would want to selflessly love them(like Christ does).
Hopefully all of that makes some sort of sense. I just long for God’s perfect love with every fiber of my being first and foremost. And I can’t imagine dating just to date, or even having a few “serious” relationships trying to find the right one. I’ve found love so amazing, so divine, and that’s all I need. I just want to love the Lord and learn more about Him each and every day for all my days… so I want to wait for one who teaches me about Christ and the love He has for both of us.