Monday, December 28, 2009

Passion. Fire. Desire. Love. Hope. Beauty. Life.

Well, this heart is beating... a steady and ready thump that gets excited and races a few beats too fast at times!

O! If I could but convey what I mean! My heart grows wildly exuberant when thinking of my dear Savior and the love we share! Then my heart beats in anticipation... for my earthly love!!!! Both sweet and tender and mean more to me than what the world could ever offer.

My heart is full of love, sweet sensational love for my beloved(: No, I don't know who he is yet. But why does that mean I can't love him now?! I long to honor Christ with my life... so why can't I honor my future husband now with my actions? That is my very heartbeat, the rhythmic poundings resounding loud and sync with my very soul! My soul sings a sweet song of joy for my first love, and yet another for my second love!!

I want to keep my heart pure, my body pure, my affections unattached to any other... I want to give my whole heart to but ONE man! I don't want to waste time dating, looking, or hoping. I want to rest in my loving Saviour's arms and pursue Him with all that I am! As I run the race one day a man will run beside me and together we can run the course the Lord has set for us!! For if my eyes are to the sides looking for a running mate, my eyes aren't even on the reason I'm running!! I want to keep my sights on what truly matters above all, my sweet Redeemer!

In a world crawling with selfish indulgences... I fervently pray the Lord would keep my heart!! I don't want to date to find out who I'm compatible with nor do I want to wait around wasting away the days the Lord has blessed me with!! I want Him!! All of Him, all of His love, all of He has to offer me! And I want to honor what He has given me now, my life and time!

But it's so hard sometimes, I am completely human, and humanness is a quality I suffer! haha! I long for my lover so deeply at times it's unbearable. But bear it I will, and gladly! For I've come to one conclusion: Never do I want to indulge my desires selfishly, for if I but give one piece of me away, what does that profit? Nothing! The only man who will ever satisfy the deep longings for love and intimacy in my hearts is but ONE man!! The man the Lord is preparing for me(: How could I forsake that? How could I want to date just any guy when I have the most beautiful and amazing guy I get to spend a lifetime with!!! I'll wait for that(:

Passion. Fire. Desire. Love. Hope. Beauty. Life.

I want it all, and I'll wait forever until I have eternity to spend with the most brilliant Lover of my soul if that's what it takes!!! If the Lord wills for me to be single, I'll gladly be! I only want what He wants, and only He could match me with a man I long for. And if no such man exists, then hallelujah Jesus is mine!

And more exciting, I recently listened to Jenny and Tyler who have the cutest music on the planet. Great vocals that blend perfectly together. Oh did I mentioned they're married and love to sing love songs to Jesus and each other? So precious! In my heart I felt a tug, a little pull from a hope hidden deep in my heart (about to be exposed!!!!!)... I know the Lord has a wonderful future for me, but I've always hoped for a love who is passionate about music and sings as well!

But God knows far better than I what I need! Thank you Father!

Sigh(: God is so good! My heart is 100% full of Him and I wouldn't have it any other way!

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